1. Target makes kids crap. You can take a child that's just filled their pants to Target, and they'll find a way to poop again. Count on it.
2. Ben Gay does not act as a numbing agent for waxing. You'd think it might, but it doesn't. It just makes all waxed parts feel as if they are ablaze. Also, this is also not something to attempt to do in front of a husband.
3. Drinking beer out front on yard chairs in not white trash. It only is if you are discussing your dysfunctional family and picking a front wedgie. But if you are drinking an import, this completely negates the white-trash effect. Sort of.
4. You can't keep all stray dogs you find. It is possible that someone was just an innocent imbecile and let their dog escape the yard. Just because you find it and consider yourself a good "dog mommy" doesn't mean you should call PETA on missing dog's owner. The owner might actually love the dog to pieces. We miss you Vera. (Pictures and complete story to follow)
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