My mom says the best piece of advice she got after my dad passed away was this:
" Just give it time. Time is your friend."
That message was conveyed to my mom from Mary, the mother of my dear, old friend Dana. Dana's father passed away suddenly, back in 1998. At 50 and 26, Mary and Dana were dealt a huge blow. Dana was one of my best supporters after my father died. Only those that have experienced the same loss truly know how hard the initial grief is.
It was the best advice on grief I have ever heard, too. And during the first couple of months after my dad passed on, I clung to those words with hope.
Time does heal wounds. I never forget he's not here, I never stop missing his humor, tenaciousness, and quiet sanity in a family of attention-getting Cancers*(Tim, Julie, mom). But as time marches on, I have stopped seeing his death and all the sad details that accompanied it as vividly and sharply as they once appeared. My life is whipping along on the rails, and the past is falling out of focus. I consider this a gift. I liken it to a small child blocking out abuse; it's a survival instinct.
My friend Jen lost her beloved doggie partner, Saffron, yesterday. She was a great old Basset Hound who loved, comforted, and entertained Jen for almost 15 years.
Today, I share the message of grief and time with my friend Jen. ->
You'll never forget Saffy Jen. Nor do you want to. But I hope time eases the extreme pain and loss you are feeling now.
:)
By the way, Norm and Saffy shared a birthday. Two Leo's leading the way in Heaven. :)
* - Cancers, as in the astrological sign.
1 comment:
Norm would have loved Saffron. She had more personality than any dog I have ever had the pleasure of knowing or owning. She loved a good cup of coffee, sweets and "singing" her howling songs in a deep, throating voice until she got what she wanted.
Thanks for the lovely thoughts and words, Toni. As a fellow dog lover you understand how close you can get and how they become such a part of the family.
Post a Comment