Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Bug Guy

We've been using the same exterminating company for two years. In that time, we've had 3 different men come to the house. The first guy, Greg, (yes, I know his name) was a so-called veteran of several wars. He had many years in the military and spent the last 20 years working top-secret missions for the government. Whenever he came over he filled me in on the latest classified information. For instance, I've been on the inside track of the Middle East turmoil. Greg let me know that World War 3 will break out in approximately 18 months time. Israel will instigate, and naturally the U.S.A will come to its aid. In Greg's version of events, our country will be decimated by long-range missiles and millions of American citizens will be killed. You don't know how badly I wanted to ask Greg why he's killing scorpions now when he could be on the short-wave to Petraeus. God forbid I was busy when Greg was spraying. The man wanted to chat, and being a polite listener, he had my ear. And then one day, Greg was gone. Perhaps his theories and Drudge Report rhetoric had gotten to be too much for some customers. Next up was the nameless, old man. He came, he sprayed, he collected his money, and he left. Delightful. But it was not to be. The last 3 times we've had the bug guy come out it's been the Original Geek. I'm sure this one has some bodies under the foundation, but they are probably only arachnids he's saving to eat later. This guy talks, sleeps, and breaths bugs. To say this one freaks me out is putting it lightly. In hindsight, I think I saw him trembling when he talked about removing a wasps nest. I know that scorpions are able to hold their breath for 2 weeks and nothing kills mosquitos on contact. There's a lot else I can fill you in on, so just let me know if you are interested. The last time I scheduled the exterminator, I was sure to do it when Scot was working from home. Thought I would share the pleasure . I wonder how long this one will last, and am a bit afraid of who's next.

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