Homeless family on aisle 5....

It's hard to keep the kids entertained in Phoenix in July. Swimming is great, but there is a magic number of kids (3) that when hit, makes swimming seem more like lifeguarding. I escape to the library with the kids about once a week, but that gets old. When we've done the puzzles, surfed Nick Jr. and Noggin, and maxed our weekly karate visits, I start grasping for activities. I'm starting to reach the bottom of the idea barrel.

It used to be I would drive. Just load up the kids and start that nap-inducing motor. I would cruise around for an hour and pick up half a dozen "for sale" brochures. At one point I thought I could probably be getting paid for having such a feel for the neighborhood housing market. Drive no more. With the cost of gas, I can't tool around aimlessly anymore.

Today I went to Fry's Marketplace, with the intention of turning a grocery visit into an afternoon much like Chuck E. Cheeses. After stocking up on the toiletries I came for, I let the girls run wild. First they tried on several different shades of nail polish in the health and beauty aisle. We all sat on the floor and got cracking on the polish. I cradled baby Madi (my day care charge) on my lap while we experimented with orange and blue shades on Maggie. At one point an employee breezed by the aisle and then backed up to get a second look. "Don't mind us," I said. "Just entertaining the troops." He gave me a look that was somewhere between "you're a sick, crazy woman" and "ooh, such pathetic squatters ." From there we hit the toy department. Maggie and Nora pined for a million different games and puzzles, only to be told "no" a million times. Then we went and gave the bikes a spin around the Sheets and Bedding Department.
By the time we checked out, we had spent an hour and a half at Fry's. I can tell you now where the best clearance items are. For example, there was a bath mat on sale for $1.50. It started at $15!

We're heading to the beach this weekend, so I don't have to come up with any other cheap, cool activities for a while. But I'm sure I'll think of something equally pathetic when we return. I wonder if the kids will have fond memories of these days, or think that their mother did some crazy shit with them.