Chick bashing

I know that I like some wussy music. For years I've been told this from all men. Christopher Cross was the first cassette I bought, and my musical taste later morphed into Adam Ant and Corey Hart. Nowadays I favor some "heavier" musicians such as U2 or Lenny Kravitz, but I still have a weakness for the pretty boys. For instance, Chris Martin of Coldplay. I know he's a bit of a freak with his colored arm bands, and his music is filled with predictable choruses and crescendos. But I love a sensitive crooner. Another recent addition to my puss repertoire is Keane. I don't care if I could take them all in a bar fight; their swirling vocals and piano medleys drive me wild.

Earlier today, Scot put on the radio. The first song to come on was Duran Duran's New Moon On Monday. There I was, nestling the chicken in the pot, singing along with Simon and the boys. My kids looked at me as though I had slaughtered the chicken, but I think it was my singing that caused the wincing. For years, Duran Duran mesmerized me with their jelled hair and puffy shirts. The order in how I wanted to marry the band member was "John, Simon, Nick, Roger, Andy." The very next song to come on was "Free Fallin." But it wasn't by Tom Petty. It was Tom Petty on Estrogen. After a few lines I pinned down the singer. John Mayer.

I listened and the more I heard, the more I thought Tom Petty should bash John Mayer's lights out. What an embarrassing rendition. It was fluffy and light, almost as if the guy's hair was doing the singing. Mayer has many of the sound qualities of Jack Johnson, minus the drop dead sexiness factor. Mayer is cute, but he lacks that certain je ne sais quoi even girlie boy musicians like Boy George have. He's.... limp. His first hit "No Such Thing" was catchy and listenable, but in the last couple of years everything he does seems to sound the same. And have you seen the chicks this guy gets? Mayer must serenade naked with diamonds. He's worked through Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson and a short time ago, Jennifer Aniston. Recently Mayer couldn't help but spill to the media that he was responsible for ending the relationship with Aniston. Poor Jennifer. Here's a girl who has had lots of heartache, but always takes the high road on her break-ups. In the end, it was the Aniston kiss-and-tell that made me hit my wall with Mayer. It's alright that he wasn't my favorite chick music before. He was still tolerable. But if you can't be man enough to keep your mouth shut about your private affairs, I don't want to listen anymore. Girlie music or not.