Trickle-down Chicken

Chicken has been included in my many cost-cutting measures. I used to buy it boneless, skinless, sexy, and packaged in neat little perfect portions. Now , I'm buying whole birds. For about $3.00, I get enough chicken to feed us for 2-3 nights. But, it's a serious bitch to get ready for cooking, and the process takes some finesse. Unless you pull the chicken skin when it's semi-frozen, it comes off in phlegmy shards. Then the giblets and innards need to be removed from the cavity. Finally, I take the back of my hand and pummel the back of the sucker, in effect butterflying the bird. This whole cleaning and butchering would take the average person five minutes. But I can't get through the exercise without having to stop to wipe a butt or scratch an itch. So, four hand washes later, the chicken is ready to be marinated. My many skin picking attempts haven't been 100% successful, so there are fatty white patches sticking to the bird. On the underside, I have broken wing joints from violent pulling. Scot grills the little baby and the end result is succulent. The remaining splotchy fat imparts a sumptuous, buttery flavor. It doesn't look pretty, but it's damn good. And here comes my point; I understand why poor people are fatter and tend to eat more fat. It's cheaper, and it's easier. Another couple of months of living like this and I'll screw the fat picking and fry up the whole thing is Crisco.