Certain details of this blog have been changed after initial publication to protect the innocent. They are loved, and I would never want to hurt them. Thanks Scot, for steering me back onto the correct "moral road". I'd be slightly evil without you!
If I had to guess, I'd say my "Evil Detector" has only gone off about a dozen times in my entire life. The "Bullshit Detector" goes off daily. It rang loudly at Nora's school today. A parent in the office said she was considering doing daycare once she's finished construction on her new 4500 square foot home. She said this very loudly in an office of people. Was I asking how large her home was? Did she think we all cared? This was not the first time she has been braggadocio, but at heart the woman doesn't seem like an evil person. Just a bit of a bullshitter.
Evil is different. It's not a flippant remark or one act of revenge. To be evil is to lack conscience and empathy. Evil cuts to the core and runs deep. When one is evil, the insidiousness bubbles over into every facet of their life. For all their life. And to be evil is to be smart, as the perpetrator must be able to cloak the ill will behind a cheerful smile and a cunning way. Think Dick Cheney. George W. Bush wasn't smart enough to be evil.
I glimpsed evil in an elevator once, and stepped out. A college roommate had ice in her veins, and over time has convinced some classmates it wasn't just teenage jealousy; She's still manipulative, almost evil. But the most haunting example of evil is with someone I know very well. It's a "friend of a friend."
I have sensed this evil for years. I could never put my finger on it, but when I was around the evildoer, I felt on edge, and took care with my words. I felt as if I was being watched and when I said or did something provocative, this person would possibly pounce on my weakness and exploit it. That was in fact true, as I have had many things I've said come back to me as untruths. And it is not just with me. In this small circle of friends, we have all been used. This person wants to see people fail. They want to destroy relationships, rule their own little galaxy, and take down anything and anyone who stands in their way. When I was considered an ally they so much as said this to me. Until recently, not everyone saw it. Many people just thought the person was a bullshitter. Because really, who wants to think someone they thought they knew, they thought they could trust, would be capable of such hatred? But this week, someone else close to me saw the lies, the meanness and the devil I have seen. Their Evil Alarm went off. Now, I am feeling slightly vindicated. And happy the game is being evened up.
I hope that doesn't sound evil.
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