Day 85 - 100 Years

On the way home from school today, Maggie asked me if she would live for 100 years.
"You could" I said. "Some people do. I sure hope you do."

I came home to check email, where I found my regular update on Charlotte. I told you about Charlotte before. She's six years old and has been fighting cancer for over 2 years. Here's a portion of the update:


Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin, we get lost sometimes as things progress. Moving surgery dates is always difficult, and this time was no different, maybe more so as the stakes are so much higher. Charlotte’s infusions continue to go very smoothly, it is really hard to know that she sick to see her. Some things bring us back to earth very quickly, like her cough continues to grow a bit more frequent and heavy, and you can hear her wheeze a bit while sleeping. During her PICC placement, they were able to suction a large amount of mucus from her lungs while asleep, and we can tell that she is starting to build up a bit again from the portion of the lung that consists mostly of dead tissue.

We learned some things about the surgery that made things a bit easier to swallow, but not much. Originally we thought that the incision for the procedure was to be a median sternotomy incision, which is through the sternum or center of the chest. They told us that they favor the thoracotomy incision, which is just under the armpit on the left side. This will keep her visible scaring down and hopefully not make her so upset with the new scar. But as far as pain goes, is about the same they told us. Other things learned, the right lung is made up of three lobes, where the left has two, this is for the space the heart needs. So she will get to keep the larger of the two. Minor as it seems, even small victories we need to stay sane right now.

I looked at Maggie sitting next to me, playing Webkinz on the laptop. What a terrible load that Charlotte'e family must carry. They could promise Charlotte they would always be there for her, but could they promise she would be? Last night's bathroom mess suddenly seemed so inconsequential, so unimportant. Today I made a commitment to be a better parent to a child who deserves everything good I can give her. It's not always easy being a parent, but I am making a concerted effort to practice patience and acceptance when I don't always understand. It's the least I can do for my beautiful, healthy child. I love her, and I want her life to be long and happy.