I have learned this; life is hard. Marriage is work. And, being married to the right person can make life easier. The work in marriage comes in the forms of compromise, kindness, sacrifice, support, and love. I try to be loving even when I pick my marital battles. Do the socks on the floor really annoy me that much, or can I continue loving Scot in spite of the dirty socks? That's an easy one. Although it took me a long time see the benefits of turning a blind eye.
What I didn't know about Scot before we got married could fill a book. We never lived together. I was a young 25, completely unaware of what life could dish out. Eleven years, three job losses, several sicknesses, and two colicky babies later, we're still happy, still together. It turns out that in addition to being cute and sweet, Scot is also determined, peaceful, and nurturing. That's not to say there aren't times I want to kill him. There are days when the dishes on the counter (five inches above the dishwasher) and his smart-ass manner drive me over the edge. But then I remember that my sulfur face-wash and constant belching aren't particularly sexy.
What has always been clear to see is that by making Scot's life easier, he is a happier person. I make his breakfast, lunch and dinner, every day. If I didn't, he would forget to eat, and starve. It's the least this foodie could do for the person who wishes he could just take a pill at mealtimes. Lately I've been thinking about my next career. I have had enough of kids running roughshod over the house, and realize I yell too much on any given day. With all this career talk comes discussion of me returning to school. It's a thought that excites and terrifies me at the same time. School would place more demands on Scot for money and time. "Don't worry about it. We will work it out. Whatever would make you the happiest, we will do, " Scot said.
I have someone in my corner that doesn't make my choices any harder. He is there to love and support me ( and occasionally tell me I load the dishwasher like I'm blind.) Life doesn't get any better, or easier, than that.
"Our House", by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, 1970.
Please don't forget to read Senora Rivera, The Life of Jennifer, and Blah, Blah Blog. It's fun to see how and why songs are picked.
3 comments:
Scot is a gem and genuinely one of my favorite people on the planet. After spending a week surrounded in lunacy, I feel the need to celebrate those I love and admire. Scot graduates in about 30 days, and deserves all the pomp and circumstance that surrounds the occasion. Yet, he'd be just as happy taking his kids to Baskin Robbins for an ice cream cone.
I find myself very jealous of the love you have found. And I think you owe it to yourself to go back to school. It will be scary and hard, but you are such a wonderful and bright person and you owe it to yourself to finish.
I feel the exact same way about going back to school.
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